do you ever reblog something specifically for someone on your dash and they reblog it from you and youre all
Whoever wants to eat cookie dough and not get salmonella. Here ya go!
Every woman? EVERY PERSON ON EARTH, MARS, OR WHEREVER THE HELL YOU ARE SHOULD HAVE THIS RECIPE.
honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.
If you’d rather go to a club than a museum, you deserve to be unhappy.
museum? what the fuck is in a museum? they got bitches in museums? alive bitches?
if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon
Better yet, make like one of my favorite short stories and murder them with big frozen leg of lamb and then cook the lamb.
Then when the police arrive offer them something to eat and then have the police eat your murder weapon.
I love that story
SO IM AT THE BUS STATION AND THIS GIRL TAPS MY SHOULDER AND SHES LIKE “are you the guy from tumblr?” AND IM LIKE “i guess” AND SHES LIKE “i follow your blog and my boyfriend *points at him* saw your selfie page and he said he would fuck you” I LAUGHED SO HARD AND SAID “thanks man means a lot” AND HE JUST SAID “no homo cutie” THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER I LOVE YOU GUYS
Answering a question your teacher thinks you don’t know the answer to
do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed
750,324 people whose mama taught them right